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We've already looked at two ways to build loyalty: 1) being honest and trustworthy; 2) being supportive and generous.

This week we look at the third way to build loyalty:

Week 3: Maintaining Healthy Boundaries
  • Choose to give your loyalty to others. Loyalty should be something you freely give to others because you want to, not because you feel you have to. Don't feel obligated because it is demanded or expected. Choose to be loyal to those you trust and believe in because of their actions and character.
  • Do not let others take advantage of your loyalty. The relationships you have in life should feel equitable where you feel you are getting as much as you are giving. If you feel you are being taken advantage of by a friend or family member, sit them down for a conversation about your feelings which goes back to being honest and trustworthy.
  • Maintain your independence. Be sure to have to time for yourself to do your own thing. Avoid being too dependent on others. If you have a significant other, perhaps you take one day a week to socialize with other friends or family members.
  • Allow time for self-care. Take the time to focus on your needs. Establish a routine where you do something you enjoy such as working out, reading, or even mindfulness activities. This will help prevent burn out or the sense of dependence on others. 

"Peace means loyalty to self...And loyalty to one's self means never a gap between thought, speech, act." - Ruth Beebe Hill, author.

Posted by  On Jun 10, 2018 at 11:02 AM
Last week we focused on being honest and trustworthy as one way to build loyalty. This week we look at a second way to build loyalty.

Week 2: Being Supportive and Generous.
  • Support the goals, ambitions, and dreams of others. Try to show genuine interest in the goals and dreams of your family and friends. If your friend dreams of being a musician, show your support by going to his/her show and promoting him/her on social media. Support a family member's career goal by offering to help them study for a test or exam.
  • Be a good listener. Take the time to listen to what they have to say. Maintain eye contact and nod when you listen to a family member or a friend. Be sure to put your phone away to give them your undivided attention. Avoid interrupting them when they are speaking. 
  • Offer positive solutions and ideas. Come up with ideas and solutions that make them feel optimistic and productive. You can support a friend going through a break up by reminding them of all the positive things they have going on in their life.
  • Resist judging others for their choices and actions. Practice empathy for others versus judging them. Don't let a family member's lifestyle choices blind you to all the reasons why you care about them. Be open to the ideas and lifestyles of others that may be different than yours. 

"Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its heart the absolute principle of self-sacrifice." - Woodrow Wilson

Posted by  On Jun 03, 2018 at 4:38 PM
Loyalty is one of the character traits we emphasize under The Lee-Davis Way umbrella. For our purposes, we define loyalty as demonstrating pride and allegiance to our country, community, school, family, and peers. But how does one become loyal?

For the next three weeks, I will touch on three ways to build loyalty. 

Week 1: Be honest and trustworthy.
  • Always be open and straightforward with your friends and family. Avoid being judgmental in your approach. Try putting yourself in their shoes, "it's your decision, but if it were me..."
  • Avoid gossip and encourage others around you that engage in that type of behavior to stop. Let them know you prefer to speak directly with your friend or family member.
  • Follow through on your commitments. Show up to meet your friends or family if you tell them that you be there. If you tell a friend that you're always there for them, then make sure you are there when they need you.
  • Stand up for others when needed. Be your family member's or friend's biggest cheerleader. When someone else attempts to speak poorly of them or bring them down, respectfully stand up for them.

"Respect is earned. Honesty is appreciated. Trust is gained. Loyalty is returned." - unknown

Posted by  On May 27, 2018 at 6:02 PM
Each month I meet with the same group of students for lunch and conversation. These past two months we've been reading a book, The Positive Dog, by Jon Gordon. There was a short chapter in the book we discussed this past Wednesday about the differences between "Get to and Have to."
When we develop a habit of saying "we get to" instead of "we have to," we begin seeing more of the positives in our lives. A student example might be to say "I get to go to school today" versus "I have to go to school today."
This simple change in wording helps our minds to focus more on what we're grateful for in our lives. As I mentioned to my students during our conversation, there are kids in other parts of the world that are not able to go to school and would love the opportunity to go and learn. 
I encourage you this week, as I did my students, to start saying "I get to..." and see if that changes your perspective on your life. 
When you make this type of thinking a habit, you begin to live a life of gratitude.
Share this except from Gordon's book.
A man goes to the village to visit the wise man and he says to the wise man, "I feel like there are two dogs inside of me. One dog is this positive, loving, kind, and gentle dog and then I have this angry, mean-spirited, and negative dog and they fight all the time. I don't know which is going to win." The wise man thinks for a moment and he says, "I know which dog is going to win. The one you feed the most, so feed the positive dog."
Posted by  On May 20, 2018 at 4:04 PM
Self-motivation is the ability to what needs to be done, without influence from other people or situations. People with self-motivation can find a reason and strength to complete a task, even when challenging, without giving up or needing encouragement from outside sources.

Motivation is tied to goals So often our kids need that extra push from others in their world or from other external factors to motivate them. Why is that? Typically it is because they have lost faith in achieving their goals or they haven't any goals at all. 

To help our kids develop self-motivation, we must first help them define their purpose and their goals. But we mustn't stop there. We must also model and show them how to make a plan to achieve those goals and how to monitor their progress along the way. Once they have that in place, their self-motivation can only grow.
Posted by  On May 13, 2018 at 4:27 PM
"Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential." - Winston Churchill

When encouraging our students, focus on their efforts more than the outcomes of the efforts. They need to know that it is their continuous efforts toward achieving their goals that will ultimately enable them to reach their potential.
Posted by  On May 06, 2018 at 9:46 AM
I am inspired every day by some of our students who have life challenges and yet they never make their circumstances an excuse. I know at times they grow weary from their daily struggles, but they continue to come to school and put in the work to move themselves forward. They know that getting a solid education WILL positively impact their lives.

 The following quote reminds me of them. 
"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did." - Newt Gingrich.
Posted by  On Apr 29, 2018 at 7:48 AM 33 Comments
As our kids begin learning more about growth within themselves, they begin to understand more about what they can and cannot control. Share and discuss the following excerpt with your teenagers. This passage comes from a book entitled The Portable Pep Talk by Alexander Lockhart. 

You cannot control the length of your life, but you can control its width and depth.
You cannot control the contour of your countenance, but you can control its expression.
You cannot control the other person's opportunities, but you can grasp your own.
You cannot control the weather, but you can control the moral atmosphere which surrounds you.
You cannot control the distance that your head shall be above ground, but you can control the height of the contents of your mind.
You cannot control the other persons faults, but you can see to it that you yourself do not develop or harbor provoking propensities.

Why worry about things you cannot control? Get busy controlling the things that depend on YOU.
Posted by  On Apr 19, 2018 at 1:13 PM 39 Comments
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